What Do You Do When the Father Doesnt Want the Baby
Surprise pregnancy, father doesn't want to exist involved.
(32 Posts)
Hi, don't actually know how to start this and then it might non make proper sense, apologies in advance!
And so I'm 23 and found out I'thou pregnant, been with my bf for 10 months, I was on the pill and hadn't taken any antibiotics so it's really a shock. Obviously totally unplanned. My bfs starting time reaction was to get rid of it, there was absolutely no discussion whatsoever, he was very adamant. I didn't really argue at start because I was in complete shock and information technology hadn't really sunken in. He then took himself off for a weeks holiday and was very desultory with keeping in bear on. During this time I had a actually bad bout of morning sickness, ended up going to infirmary because I was so worried and later trying to contact him several times and leaving him teary voicemail letters there was nix from him until about 2 days later.
When I finally saw him over again he was still completely against me having it. I'm not stupid, I've thought about everything logically. I'thousand under no illusion that this is going to be easy, and to be honest I've not really factored him into it when considering how I would raise it, I've idea almost it from the point of existence a single mum because he's made it clear he doesn't want it, which I find extremely hurtful. I understand his reasons for non wanting information technology, they're the same reasons I idea myself, merely when I saw the scan and the baby'due south heartbeat I just knew I couldn't have an ballgame, the idea makes me feel physically sick. When I showed him the browse motion-picture show he had absolutely no emotion, it was like information technology was aught which simply angered me even more.
This may all sound similar I've made up my mind, and to exist honest I probably take. My worry is his involvement after the child is built-in. He's said he would be involved, simply I know from past experience (it hasn't been the easiest human relationship) that he is far too immature to be able to deal with existence a parent. I myself grew upwards with a dad that was only around every now and and then, and I can say that it has deeply affected me equally an developed and I found information technology extremely difficult to bargain with. My mum has said that she wished she'd stopped my dad being involved (she would have been well inside her rights to do so) because she found it so difficult to comfort me when he didn't prove up for a visit, simply because I already had a relationship with him she felt information technology was too tardily.
Do I accept any rights to stop him seeing this child? I've read a few $.25 and pieces online, but there's nothing concrete. I've seen that if I don't put his proper name on the birth certificate information technology sort of decreases his rights, and I can enquire him to sign away his paternal rights? I understand that this ways he doesn't have to give me whatsoever coin past law just I don't really intendance near that. I sympathise this sounds awful and for an outsider information technology might seem harsh just I actually call up it would be better for the child, and my gut feeling is that he won't really be that bothered. The simply other thing is that his parents are quite strict Catholics, and so I think they would want to exist involved and would force him to be, but I recall that would exist for the wrong reasons. I would have no problem with them seeing their grandchild, they alive a few hours drive away anyway so it wouldn't exist regular. I just really don't want him involved. The man is incapable of any emotion, he can't even hold my hand or kiss me. I've said everything similar how when y'all accept a baby and its yours you have so much love for information technology, when the infant wraps their mitt round your finger its amazing simply he is merely not interested. He hates children which is something I've always known, he'due south 25 but behaves like a 16 year quondam. Things between usa actually came to a caput about a week before I found out I was meaning, he had actually given me chlamydia so information technology's a miracle I even conceived in the first identify (this has all been treated at present earlier anyone worries nigh the infant-i know its dangerous) He stopped using condoms with me when I went onto the pill, knowing that he had it and chose not to tell me until the stop of June, about 5 months later, ironically right around the week I conceived. So you can meet what sort of person he is.
I'one thousand sorry for this beingness so long and I know information technology'south a longshot, I just wondered if anyone had always constitute themselves in a similar position or could offering me any advice. I've spoken to family and friends (not my mum nonetheless, I wanted to take a off-white idea of what I was doing before I did) and have a lot of support. I understand anybody is entitled to their opinion and people might think I'm beingness out of order but I would appreciate it if people disagree not to exist too stiff in voicing their opinions. I've read a few topics though and information technology seems similar a friendly place, I've just had bad experiences on forums before! I really appreciate any advice any, I've never felt more confused, on the one hand I'm so excited that I could have a baby in 7 months, only distressing that it'due south in these circumstances.
Don't know if you lot need to know this but I'm 9 and 1/2 weeks meaning and based in Northern Republic of ireland.
Your child volition take two parents and unless you have really good reasons they volition grant him access. If you do not put his proper name on the nascency cert, he can apply to the courts to exist named.
I'm lamentable you had such a bad relationship with your own male parent, but you cannot allow that to finish your baby having a relationship with its begetter and grandparents.
<big hug> I became significant with my dd subsequently being with my partner for just three months. His beginning reaction too was " How soon tin can we schedule the ballgame?" My response was " Never" I am solidly pro-choice. I just knew I wanted to keep my pregnancy. I also told him I was capable of seeing it through on my own. I permit him know I expected cypher from him except child maintainance. He got very stroppy. We had many long discussions, neither of u.s.a. giving an inch.
I attended my first midwife visit on my own. He agreed to attend the second. He stayed stone silent through the appointment until the midwife placed the Doppler on my abdomen and said " There it is, at that place is your baby's heartbeat." On our style home, my partner suddenly said " WE have then much to do and so. We must buy a business firm, a crib, a motorcar seat.."
Our daughter is vi this year. We were married when she was nine mos. old.
This is not a happily e'er subsequently story btw..We have been through some very shit hard times..emotionally, financially and spiritually.
My story differs a bit too as I was 42 when my unplanned pregnancy happened 
Y'all make the decision you can all-time live with. It'due south all we can practice really. Xx
Well later on reading this I think you are actually making a very adult decision and if you can do that then slap-up. You accept your kid's all-time interests at eye for its hereafter. I likewise grew up seeing my begetter in drubs and drabs and it tore me apart equally a young teen and child. It fucks you up a flake actually. And so I fully support your selection and If you can calmly get him to sign the rights over to you perfect. Better no dad then a shitty dad or a just here and there dad.
I say well done you for carefully and lovingly thinking things through like a mature adult should for expert of your unborn child.
Wishing you a happy future with you lot baby and healthy enjoyable pregnancy. Hat off over again to you for beingness and then brave and mettlesome.
Proceed it up girl that baby'due south is going to have one super mum 
x
Information technology may decrease his rights but as said before he tin go to court to apply. To have his proper name on, he'll demand to go with yous to annals. People say information technology's better to have no dad than a shitty dad and that's fair enough but it's not fair to deny your child the noesis of who their father is and the chance to know him; proficient or bad.
If he doesn't step upward afterwards birth to grade a relationship with his kid then yep, stop the contact so leave upwardly to your child when they're old enough.
To me; not using condoms in the first when y'all've clearly pointed out he wasn't a good boyfriend was a airheaded thing to do just can't change it now.
Congratulations on your infant. I'm 23 and PG with #v & #six simply I was 17 with DC1 but with assistance of a good support organisation of family unit and friends you'll do fine. From what y'all've said it shows y'all have your child's best interests at heart and that'due south all that really counts. Practiced luck and you sound like you'll be a keen mum.
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ah sweetheart.
tbh yous sound like you lot have really idea this through and know exactly what you desire.
from what I tin selection up you too audio very mature and responsible and like you will brand a lovely mum.
I don't really have communication to give yous merely I just wanted to say that if your babies father decides not to be in his/her life then you can be secure in the knowledge that you volition be a great mum and provide all the dear and care that a baby will e'er need.
don't worry.
I know it probably feels shit at the moment but these things normally turn out ok in the finish.
It'due south not nigh your rights, it'due south about the kid'due south rights. The child has a right to know virtually its parents - simply on the other hand you tin can't proper name the father on the nascence cert unless he either goes with you or yous are married - just your babe might not ever get to know its father if he refuses to have anything to practice with the baby.
In all honesty, with the number of single mums I know who take complete deadbeat exes, who employ the children as sticks with which to vanquish their mum, in your shoes I'd be tempted to tell him to do one and never darken your doorstep again as well - just information technology'due south not about yous (or me).
Talk to your mum. See what her thoughts are. And then do what is right for y'all at this signal, and remember about what is right for your baby later on.
How-do-you-do hun ten 10 i had my now three year old when i was 28.. My pregnancy was a lovely surprise and my partner at the time seemed pleased.. We had been friends for 15years and although not together for long i felt we were strong.... Nevertheless at 7months pregnant he suddenly decided my infant wasnt his......... And moved out and ignored me ntil she was born. I managed to groovy him into coming over in one case to do a paternity exam and once to get the reslts which he said i must have faked!!!! I wanted him on the birth document simply he refused and i never chased him for money. He has not seen my daughter since and i have a wonderful boyf and male parent or organized religion and im 35 weeks meaning with my second... I have felt very guilty for her not seeing her biological begetter and have been upset about it a lot. I worry that ine day she will wnt to know why he didnt want her and i dont know what to say but she has a stble homelife and i retrieve information technology is best for her to have tobey than to accept me trying to bully james to be involved... I think any you do you lot are probable to feelguilty hun but you just do what you tin can and what is best sweets and that is all y'all can do ten ten ten 10 x x
Thanks for all the replies. I merely want to be articulate that I would never ever stop my child from having anything to do with him when he/she is onetime enough, I just don't want him darting in and out of the child's life which I know he volition be. I know in my centre if I ask him to have nothing to do with it he'll happily stand back, I was merely more concerned that if he did all that and signed away his rights could he just suddenly waltz dorsum in years afterwards??
This might be contradictory, but information technology's not a instance of me not wanting him to exist in contact forever, if he reaches a stage where he has matured and tin can prove he will be a stable influence and then fair enough, too if my kid asks then (when they're onetime plenty) I'll tell them, I don't plan on lying nigh the whole state of affairs. I really ended upwards forming a proficient relationship with my dad afterwards I turned nineteen, (sadly he died terminal yr) then I know that people tin change and positive relationships can exist formed afterward.
Give thanks you lot again for all your help, my next step is telling mum, unfortunately her mother-in-law died yesterday so it'due south a bit of an odd situation. I will let you know how things progress.
anonymous2360 I was most in identical position over 10 years ago at 22 years old. Been with my then BF for 3 years but information technology was coming to a horrible terminate, and we'd dissever upward the week earlier I constitute out I was P.
I was also at uni nigh to practise finals. His parents were also strict Catholics!!
I was in utter turmoil… he reacted emotionally, crying (for himself) and then wrote me the cruellest, well-nigh heartless letter I've ever read, making cases "for" and "against" with the emphasis being against keeping it. Not wanting to see her daughter tie to a "human being" similar this and possibly throw away a career, my mum gently also suggested not keeping it, as well as my grandmother. My dad, who'south a ladies man and player surprisingly said don't think information technology will always mean you wont run across another guy, a lot of men don't mind women who already have kids- basic equally this sounds information technology was god to hear at the time.
I was in turmoil, just fabricated a rash decision of having abortion. To cut a long story- the get-go i failed… and I carried on with pregnancy without realising till at nearly 12 weeks they realised, and I had to take another one.
It tore me apart, to put it lightly…. I hope to publish my teenage dairies and my now pregnancy diary, with a expect back at this whole situation, and publish my Ex'southward letter equally part of it, so the world tin can see how cruel some men are capable of beingness (of class I'd go along him anon!).
Looking back- did I brand right decision? I'm still not comfy with it and all the same feel deeply distressing especially when a certain song that I remember listening to and crying to at the time ever comes on the radio. I feel haunted. I also never went on to have as amazing a career equally my education might have suggested I would, then feel in terms of that- I shouldn't have allow the thought of never finding a decent chore hold me dorsum.
I'm glad I don't take ties to my EX just Ill never know what would accept been in terms of the child.
I'1000 now married (to a lovely human being!) and 25 weeks pregnant, and and then hopeful and happy this time round. He knows about my past and honestly said had I come up with a child already-initially he probably wouldn't have dated me. But he said if he's had a gamble to really get to know me and flal for me and so known I had a child, information technology probably wouldn't have made a difference.
Sorry this probably isn't actually helping, but you sound a lot more than sorted and stronger than I was, and if youve already bonded with your baby, go for information technology! A friend of mine has just washed exactly the same after the father wanted nowt to do with it, and yous wouldn't believe the support she got from her friends and family unit before her lovely daughters arrival. I've never run into annihilation like it! x
I don't recall men tin sign away their rights because in united kingdom of great britain and northern ireland police the focus is on the child's rights and they have a correct to know who their parents are. A man tin can't edit himself out of a kid's life. But you lot can requite him the choice of regular contact or no contact and see what he chooses.
I am nine weeks meaning with my kickoff child and I am 39. The father doesn't want to know nothing about it as it was quite a coincidental relashionship for him. He also just had a one yr old infant with some other' casual ' relashionship and recognised the fiddling one as his own. But to me He said he doesn't want nothing to do with the child and doesn't desire his family to know.I retrieve it's because of ethinc reason. He cancelled me from his contacts and in every possible manner fifty-fifty if I fabricated clear I volition not force him at whatever stage to exist in our life'southward if he doesn't desire it.
Fifty-fifty if I am a abound up woman it does really hurt the idea that he doesn't want anything to do with usa and I feel really guilty for my child that will almost probably not take his or her bilogical father around. Perchance I took the risk because deeply in me I did desired in my heart to become pregnant. Fact is that at present I have so many mix feelings about this pregnancy, but at the same time I can't wait for this trivial person to come in this earth. Also financially my situation is quite bad but I had a business for many years and I am a hard worker I call back I should be fine to raise this child by my self. I never thought I will be a single mum and I join this site because feels so good to hear other stories like mine, with hope and real struggles. I will honey your feed backs, I experience quite alone confronting all the rational reason why I shouldn't have this baby.
I sympathise what y'all are going through Isa1978. I likewise find myself in a similar state of affairs. 9 weeks significant. The male parent doesn't want anything to do with the babe. We were in a relationship for over 3 years. He wanted marriage but i wasn't ready. We both had been through hard divorces. Nosotros lived together for a yr with his two children and my one child from our previous marriages. It was very difficult because everything happened then quickly. He broke up with me half way through our relationship but some how continued a monogamous relationship without the expectations we once had - information technology became coincidental but we got along improve. He phased me out from his family and friends. I was kept a secret but only seen as a friend. It hurt. I tried to leave that casual relationship but he didn't want me to and nosotros both cared for each other. Simply everything changed a few weeks ago when i constitute out i was pregnant. It took two very difficult conversations and i realized how brutal he really was - very adamant for me to arrest, accusing me of forcing him to go a father if i chose to go along information technology and if i forced him to exist a father then he would force me to surrender the child once he/she is born and would take information technology manner, etc. I saw a side of him i accept never seen before and the vile words towards the baby left me very ill for days. We were both in stupor and i know many thoughts running through his head were non and aren't making sense. All the stress started to make me sick. So nosotros both decided not to speak to one some other. I don't know what lies ahead. I've gone back to church - my family and friends and coworkers and church/my faith are what is sustaining me and keeping me sane and centered. I am 41 and facing the normal fears of hard pregnancy in my age, plus added fears of finances, future, fatherless kid, etc. Reading these posts helps to see I'm non lonely and nosotros will exist okay. Hard road ahead but stronger for it. My baby and i will be okay - we are not alone and neither are you. Hugs!
Dearest anonymous2360 - firstly give thanks you lot for this mail as it has highlighed and answered some of the questions I had myself - then thanks all for your comments. I didn't realise the date of this post immediately so I promise all is well wth you and your child.
Dear Isa1978 and Mami2B - I thinking of you both as I write this. I too am in a similar situation. I will be xiii weeks in a few days. I was only with the father on a causal ground a little whille. Due to ethic and religious reasons he cannot accept me as the mother of his child and although we both agreed to keep the babe (neither of us believe in abortion) at this phase, he won't have anything further to do with me or the child. At commencement I was scared and I felt very stressed but now with the support of my amazing family unit and friends I am enjoying everyday of my pregancy. I know there is a tough road ahead in the adjacent few months as I take to motility and peradventure detect a second task so I can make some savings before the baby comes . I say to you both likewise as I say to myself, just stay strong, know you have been given a blessing and from what I read you will both be excellent mothers, congratulations! 
. I am 38, this is my first and I promise you will both join me in throwing up a large YIPPPEEEE, we are going to take beautiful babies!!!! Lots of beloved xx
I'm not sure if this thread is nevertheless going but figured it worth a shot to post.
A lot of the stories on here are incredibly relatable and am gaining new strength through reading all of them, it's nice to know I'm not alone in these kinds of problems.
I'k 23 and nearly 9 weeks pregnant and at showtime, when I mentioned the news to the father he was naturally surprised (equally was I) simply welcoming...
He told me it was my decision in what to do and he'd support information technology either fashion.
I went over the idea of having an abortion and had booked an date but I but couldn't follow through with it, my heart bankrupt and I was reduced to (and still am reduced to) a tearful mess whenever I think almost it.
I'chiliad also terrified of having a baby but after much deliberation I have decided I want to keep this child.
My decision was at commencement based on the idea that nosotros'd be able to do-parent but recent events have made it clear that isn't going to be the case, at least for now.
Either fashion, I do believe in me and my own strengths and remember I'1000 more than capable of raising a kid lone and I have been the nigh at peace with myself since making the conclusion to have this baby....
Since telling the begetter of my decision, he's had a modify of centre and is now appalled at the fact I have fabricated the pick to keep this baby.
He can't seem to empathise why I would want to raise a kid nether these circumstances, has told me countless of times that he thinks I'm being devil-may-care and irrational and dis-acknowledges anything to do with me or our infant.
Every bit y'all tin imagine, the mental manipulations and back and forth arguing have taken a toll on me and I'g exhausted with constantly having to argue and justify my reasons to why I want to continue this infant (all of which he just shoots down and says aren't valid/reason enough)
I judge what I'm getting at here is, has anyone experienced a u-turn in the begetter of their child's behaviour? (Did they come around somewhen?)
I know it'south withal early on days, a tiny piffling chip of me holds hope but I'g likewise not expecting great things.
I'd also like to enquire if anyone on this thread (or persons reading) is raising a child alone in another country? (I'grand an English expat living in Amsterdam).
I'd love to hear your stories/words of wisdom on this one.
✨
im a unmarried mum in a foreign land. Information technology'due south not always easy and I've made some choices I regret now just essentially it's doable.
Hi I'one thousand totally new to this so I don't know the brusque hand sorry in advance!
This is going to take a while. I've establish out I'm meaning approx 12 weeks. The male parent of my unborn kid was a brief relationship that ended quite badly...
we were seeing each other approximately 3 weeks he was going thru a actually hard fourth dimension and I was trying to exist there for him although I knew in my heart it would never piece of work out. He started to get really over begetting constantly telling me he loved me, needing me with him at all times, consistently trying to over power me and affirm command. When I establish information technology safe to practice so I left immediately never looking dorsum. I have been in this kind of relationship earlier and knew the signs and that I could not do it again. I blocked him from having any contact wotsoever.
I found out 3 weeks later I was significant by him, I slowly tried to speak to him once more test the water to c if subsequently the hard fourth dimension he had went thru he had calmed downwardly any simply he was worse than always, constantly sending me messages, turning up at my place of work, drinking to excess and calling me some of the virtually horrific names imaginable. This is without him knowing about the baby.
I still haven't told him, I'm really unsure if it would be the right thing to do. I'm 31 he's 53 and has told me from the beginning in no uncertain terms does he e'er want whatsoever more children ( he has 2 developed offspring )
I'm actually struggling, initially I thought it would be easier non to accept he baby at all, I'm already a single mother with a 12 year old daughter. I have got over the shock and believe I could be an amazing mum the 2d time round. I take always been on my own with my girl. She has a loving good for you relationship with her dad and his family unit. She'due south an absolute credit to me.
I would be totally on my ain, both my parents have passed away inside the concluding 5 years, so I would take no help in that respect. I have a couple of adept friends, only no immediate family to speak of.
Would like whatever advice... should I tell the infant's dad? Practice I take the right to go it solitary without consulting him? I'g scared of his reaction and the corruption I will receive on tiptop of wot Ive already had from him?
Thanks in advance for any reply's 10
Honestly your whole entire message made me experience like yous just typed out my life atm regarding my unborn kid'southward father! Scared me for a moment as if you lot were talking about the same person! I'thousand 5wks pregnant and was on the pill when I had fallen pregnant. I felt as if he was forcing me to abort our baby to the point where I booked the apt which was a 2 week wait and he promised he would be in that location for me as at that point I was because doing it but felt I was only considering it because he had acted so horribly almost the idea of keeping it. Anyhow I've had the exact aforementioned experience as you. I've had a very long message off him today calling me all kinds because I couldn't get through with the abortion. I already take a 3yr erstwhile who's begetter is hardly there and that kills me merely I've washed it on my own the past 2yrs and I can very well do it once again!! Congratulations to yous and proficient luck! 30
Hi, I have a 6 twelvemonth quondam girl and dissever from her Dad when she was 3, 6 months ago he came back into our lifes saying how he wanted united states dorsum and wanted to brand things correct. Few months later he inverse his mind but kept on coming back. I take now found out I'm pregnant and he is adamant he doesn't want anything to do with the baby is trying to persuade me to gave an abortion saying I'm ruining his life and I'll end up regretting it and information technology's not fair to bring a baby into this world without a Dad, and not fair that I'g going through with this when he doesn't desire it.This isn't the situation I thought I'd be having my second child in but I want to go on my babe. It'southward actually hard when he isn't on
Allow me just say it'southward very comforting to know that I'm non the just one dealing with a similar situation simply information technology also saddens me how men tin can be so united nations emotional & inconsiderate. All of you ladies deserve a beautiful healthy baby & I wish you all merely that who always is going through with it and if you choose not to then I wish yous aught but healing and comfort in knowing you made the correct determination for you lot and for the situation as best every bit you knew how . These situations are never easy and you lot never call back that you will be in one of them . So l want to share with you my story ....I'm 28 I am 11 weeks & 4 days pregnant I was with my beau who is 29 for a short catamenia of time (7 months to be exact) I was very much in love with him and he expressed his honey for me on a daily . . . We became intimate afterwards 2 months of dating and first we were using protection but every bit nosotros got closer that stopped . . I felt very comfy with him and he has a 9 yr one-time child that lives in another state with the mom . Wich he speaks highly of and is there financially & face times him everyday he also visits but has not seen him in two yrs because of his busy work schedule. So now that u know a niggling about him I became pregnant about iv months into our relationship when I broke the news to him he said "wow I take to get to work" we both laughed it off and went on with our days together . Heed you we talked about kids and family and having both parents in the home before and he insisted that that's what he believed in and that when he was with his ex he was very much in dearest with her and tried to work it out with her only she cheated and he felt like he couldn't live with her anymore then he left and they went there carve up ways . . So I didn't encounter him as a bad father because things happen and some relationships just don't last right ? Anyways as the weeks went on I became more nauseous and more nervous I recall staying at his firm for a whole week considering I didn't want my sis who lives with me to even sense I was meaning I wasn't ready to tell her simply yet . He took care of me made sure I ate even if I didn't feel similar eating at all . He was then attentive and fifty-fifty tho I was ill I thought to myself "wow he'southward taking this really well " lol possibly because he's already been through information technology . . And then the last day of that calendar week I slept over he went to work and sent him a text thanking him for his support and how I was excited to be bringing a life into the world and as well very scared . He replied asking me am I prepare and are am I sure I want to practise this and asking be about my job and things of that sort . So instantly I got offended because I felt similar he was doubting me and doubting this infant inside of me . We didn't talk for a couple days and then when we did speak I came over and ask him did he want an abortion he told me no but he still seemed unsure long story short I asked him again a week later on to that conversation because at present he was being very distant and cold he told me yeah he wanted me to abort information technology mind you in my mind I wanted this baby so when he told me he didn't it broke my heart I literally cried my cocky to sleep that night . And the next solar day he acted like cipher happened . I told him I would respect his decision and arrest information technology and he told me he would assist with the cost past this fourth dimension I had already mention the pregnancy to my mom and sister considering I was torn and confused about what I was going to do knowing he didn't want the bby . I gave him a week to get the coin together and Saturday I was going to get it done . The dark before we had an argument and he said pretty hurt ful things to me told me not to come around anymore and that I was being annoying all because I asked him would he have the money to get the process done past Friday . I also explained to him that I could not be with him after the ballgame considering I wouldn't be able to wait at him the same . He even had the nerve to offer to come with me afterward he injure my feelings . But I told him I would rather become with someone who truley cares about me cause obvi he wasn't acting like it right ? ! So Sabbatum came didn't hear anything from him didn't txt me and tell me to come get the coin NOTHING. I sent him a txt the next 24-hour interval reminding him that I was already 11 weeks and him procrastinating to give his share of the money isn't helping me at all . It still leaves me completely puzzled what human being wants yous to get an abortion tells yous he will give you lot the money (wich I know he has) and so simply ignores u and doesn't answer the phone u would think that he would of had this money front and center . Anyways I accept decided to continue this baby because I know in my heart it's the correct thing to do I know it won't be easy simply I have a swell support system and god is definitely on my side at the end of the twenty-four hours information technology's non even about us anymore it'south well-nigh this beautiful life I will meet and love forever in 9months ! It was and so difficult for me to brand this decision considering of the circumstances but u really have to go with what your heart is telling you it's non his decision information technology'southward your body and your life . I go no women wants to force a kid on to someone and I told myself that it's his decision atmospheric condition he wants to be there for them or not he'south missing out not me . Possibly he will take a alter of heart since he has a kid and possibly he merely won't . But that's not my problem and that's how I'm looking at information technology . I hope my story helped someone to make the right decision 💖
I've been in a similar position but my partner changed his listen once he finally accustomed I wasn't having an abortion.
From a financial point of view id definitely get maintenance from him even if you both decide he volition have null to do with the baby. I was a unmarried Mum at 25 for 4 years, worked iii days a calendar week and had a mortgage. My wages covered this just the extra from my ex definitely enhanced the children'southward lives, we were able to go on holidays, have days out, I never had to worry about school trips and they both had music lessons etc... (he actually didn't take whatever contact with them for those 4 years and that was a decision he made, but has seen them For the past 5 years and has a good relationship with them).
If he chooses no contact that's up to him only that doesn't mean he tin simply walk away with no consequences.
Gosh, so many of us in a like situation....I understand your feelings completely, information technology does sound like yous've made your mind up and 1 matter to call back is you lot know and you tin can just exercise your best.
My situation is I'm 32 been with my partner 2 years and we fell meaning 6 months ago his first words to me were 'we are getting rid of it right?' this hurt me and then much and then I booked the app, went ahead with it fifty-fifty though it wasn't what I felt was correct. 6 months later we've got in the same situation, I use the fertility app (have NEVER been pregnant before, until concluding time I actually thought I'd probably have trouble TTC), I took the morning later pill as nosotros had sex during my fertile time yet am now four weeks pregnant once more...and over again he's told me the same and once again I feel numb and sick as to how tin can we be and so dizzy only also how can he just keep having abortions (he had three with an ex girlfriend, I've only ever had the previous one), I feel like perhaps 2020 was the year I was suppose to become a mum, yet I as well feel like I don't want to be the just parent excited about having a child, I as well don't know if I can do it solitary or if it'south even fair. My emotions are probably all over the place and this probably doesn't brand sense, but don't you lot likewise feel if a man truly loves you they'd stand by and talk about both decisions rather make it seem like it's just theirs. Too because he's told me this I've told him to exit and give me my own space as I can't stand to be around him!
Thank you all for sharing your stories, it'southward so dainty to experience like I'm not alone in this.
I wish yous all the all-time with whichever decision you decide and know you'll make the right i- as nosotros only know what's best for us right?
So my story is not as similar equally the father wants to exist involved. I am a little over sixteen weeks pregnant with my 2nd baby. My girl is almost 3 years one-time and her father and I divorced in November of 2019. He is a very practiced, loving dad. Non to say we have been through a lot together and wasn't always such a practiced relationship (hence splitting). I was seeing someone during the separation and learned a great deal about his past and learned he had been lying about some things (dangerous lifestyle) that he was nonetheless involved in. When I found out I was pregnant I told him of course. He was immediately accepting and wanted to exist involved. As days went on he started enervating certain custody and not wanting anything in the court system. He is a felon, has done prison time, no automobile, will never have a decent chore due to his background and lives with his mom still. He also got custody revoked from his daughter for his lifestyle. As I started sharing with shut family and friends that I was pregnant and the situation all advised I should not continue having him involved. The issue I take though is that he will non sign over rights (I haven't asked but I know). I began avoiding him as he was becoming more aggressive and wanting a relationship with me which I did non want and I had ended earlier I found out nosotros had conceived. I basically told him there was no babe. I know many people will judge me for this. But I accept thought this through then much information technology'south made me ill. He is a dangerous person and lives a dangerous lifestyle and I don't feel him being apart of the babies life or mine or my daughters would be safe. I am not sure how to go about all of this legally. I'thousand afraid if he does find out I kept the baby and had the baby he will do something drastic. (He ane fourth dimension took his daughter from her mother and wouldn't tell her where they were for weeks).
I know once the kid starts request about their father I will feel every bit though it is the child right to know their father. I feel similar I made the best decision. Just don't know how to go about it legally.
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Source: https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1831450-Surprise-pregnancy-father-doesnt-want-to-be-involved
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